Dating bipolar guy

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Is this normal for for someone with manic bipolar disorder? Since you are a few years older than me, I thought maybe you would have some advice? The best thing you can do is give him a hug and a kiss and tell him you will be there for him to support him. He is put into a mental ward.

Going forward, I don't believe I will ever be with anyone that has an addiction, present or past. These wild swings put stress on his marriage and threatened to run his family's finances into the ground. At the time I was stuck in difficult roommate la and lining up a new place, and he lived minutes from my job so it seemed like a good idea. Sometimes you go back and forth between all extremes. Hence, arming yourself with the best mindsets will give you control over your mind. I must have been a north in a previous life. Dating bipolar guy do not want to swing unwell then have to go back and try to justify your actions through the Disorder. They treat almost any alcohol consumption as varying levels of a disease; it is a substance they almost hate. Other than her being a sincere emotional wreck, our relationship seemed fine. Connecting on a light-hearted level, being silly and having truly heartfelt laughter is a path to forging shared interests and affection.

Zosia March also Valentine is a fictional character from the BBC medical drama , played by actress. A good rule of thumb is to just let your manager know that if you are acting extremely different than normal, you could very well be unbalanced. You want the best for you, your partner and the relationship.

Guide to Bipolar Disorder and Relationships - But his support it. You need to get away and find someone that is clean and sober, and will not need or want your money!!

After one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all — thoughtful, witty, responsible — and good-looking to boot. They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others. And they have committed — in recovery and in life — to honesty and integrity and making decisions in accordance with their values. Men and women learn a lot in recovery, not just about staying sober but living a happy, satisfying life. Some are deeply people whose lives are infused with meaning and purpose, while others volunteer in their communities or have interesting hobbies that keep them grounded. Because recovery is a lifelong process, recovering addicts are in a perpetual state of self-improvement. First, the recovering addict should have at least one year of sobriety, and preferably many more. Second, they should be actively working a program of recovery — attending meetings, volunteering, practicing self-care and so on — not just begrudgingly staying away from and while addictive patterns fester. These provisos are in place to give addicts a fair shot at lasting recovery and to protect the people they might date from falling for someone who is unhealthy, unavailable or worse. What are your beliefs about? Although research has refuted outdated assumptions about addiction, surveys have shown that people judge addicts even recovering ones more harshly than people struggling with , and even. Sometimes if your alarm bells are ringing, there is good reason. When you bring a recovering addict into your inner circle, their choices and lifestyle can have significant bearing not only on their and well-being but also your own. As a chronic disease, the threat of relapse is ever-present — an estimated 40 to 60 percent of addicts relapse — and watching someone you love spiral out of control can be one of the most horrific experiences of your life. Of course, not all addicts relapse and those that do are often able to get back on track before too much damage is done, but the threat is there nevertheless. If you move forward with the relationship, be aware of a few unique aspects of dating someone in recovery. They may need to meet with a sponsor or attend support group meetings at inconvenient times and your support in encouraging them to do so is essential. You also need to assess how much baggage you can handle. Addicts tend to do crazy things. They may have accrued debts, a record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and friends tenuous. You may hear wild stories of drug-fueled sexscapades or run into slippery characters from their past. All of these can be difficult to understand, so you have to honestly evaluate and communicate your tolerance level. I met someone who was addicted to marijuana and hashish, and also alcohol. He's tried and failed over the past year to clean up on his own, and has checked himself into a 5-month rehab program inpatient except on weekends that does non stop therapy, alternative therapies, and exercise. I was hoping that after the program we could slowly start to date. I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet including finding a new job. I am mainly worried about relapse. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. If an addict cannot handle being sober for one year, I would fear for your physical safety and your sanity if you were dating him as caring for someone who continues to relapse is exhausting. The thing with me and my past partner two years ago now was that he would make all these promises, assure me he would take his medication and get help and do better, but I never saw him making a genuine effort to get clean, at least while we were together. If he had even gone to al anon meetings and tried hard with their programme, I would have stayed with him. If you are in a relationship with a person and their habits that destroy their lives then you are in a three-some with a person and booze, drugs, sex gambling. If this turns you on have fun. If not, you can go to the shrinky-poo, after all they've shown so much success with treatment centers, right? The founders came from that era. Use your own judgement. You have a choice. I admire him for that and we have a good laugh and seen good together. The question is, I am on anti-depressants for when I was being bully at work. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery. I said to him that I didn't mind going through it as I came out of it as a stronger person. He now said he cannot date me as its part of his recovery program and I am on medication. He has being in recovery from drugs for 13 years. I recently met someone and it was going quite well. I was honest about my past and shared I would have 9 years of recovery in January. We had only been on four casual dates so I had not shared the exact details of my past because they are painful and personal. I was certainly going to share more as time went on. The person started googling me and found a mug shot from an arrest a decade ago from one of those extortion websites I will be joining the class action suits , especially since I was never actually charged with the crime and successfully completed treatment and the drug court program. I am active in recovery in many ways, have a wonderful full life today and am blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined, but to say I am not hurt would be a lie. I am now fearful and don't feel like the treatment and judgement was fair, but after reading this article I understand a little better. But looks like you dodged a bullet there!! Would you really have wanted someone so quick to judge and so quick to dismiss someone as awesome as you?? I just met this man on a dating site, and we've talked on the phone a few times, but I googled him and found out he is 3 years sober. I am here to find out what I can do to be supportive and not to say the wrong thing when he finally tells me. He seems like a really nice guy, and has more positive things going for him and just this one negative thing in his past, so I'm going to see where it goes. I would be fortunate to have him in my life, and I hope that if you are reading this, you are laughing at my comment - right beside Mr. You should be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished so far. I'm proud of you and don't even know you, or what it takes to get where you are!! Stay strong and know that total strangers love you, and those who don't.... Drug use is often a result of trying to self medicate mental problems. I was married to a recovered heroin addict who while using committed crimes to support his habit and did at least a year in jail. He had no remorse for his victims. You think he would have learned something after therapy, rehab and 12 step programs. He was a problem as a child and drug use was just a way for him to medicate the mental or personality disorder he was born with. He is a 50 yr old psychopath, who while in AA, and a member of his temple, pretends to be an upstanding citizen, but in actuality, was a perpetrator of domestic abuse, can't control his impulses and spending, is a sex addict, a predator of women and can't tell the truth to save his life. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing. A body without a soul. Psychopaths often are drug users and addict behaviors will continue throughout their lives. The two might be related but being an addict did not make him a psychopath. Not all addicts are psychopath and not all psychopaths are addicts. Yes, a relationship with a psychopath is indeed impossible. However there are so many successful long term relationships with recovering addicts. My husband soon to be ex; is skilled at rehab, therapy and manipulating people in general. He is so good he fakes tremors at the dr office and around family. He knows people watch his body language so he either plays it up or down. I know because I've seen it and other family members have also. He went to alcohol rehab and then drug rehab, he says he can't do 12 steps because he is not right mentally. I went to check on him at AA meeting, he was sitting outside, never went in. But he tells everyone he goes to the meetings. He does have a personality disorder and addictive behavior disorder. I do hope he gets better; he will have to do it for his self. So, he's learned instead to act like the world says he should be in order to deserve love or attention or just acknowledgment. But the mask slips, and in some catastrophic ways. This guy needs help he hasn't yet found. You might benefit from some too, to cope with being caught up in the storm of rage and confusion and fear and loneliness he seems surrounded and plagued by. Also, to understand that thinking or suggesting all addicts should be avoided and by everyone because you personally had a bad experience is a cruel thing, an act and thought lacking any empathy, full of anger and self pity and resentment and bitterness... Hence, before throwing stones, no matter who you are or what you have been through and even at whoever's hands, take a look around; we are all in glass houses or some design or another. Hard to face, but once folk do and the stone throwing stops, things get a whole lot easier... And if I could tell your ex the same, I would. At least not to you; your choice is whether you choose to hear it. That and nothing more. I've been in a position that sounds very similar to yours... Both realities are hell. Both people are victims. And both are perpetrators. There is no black and white. And if I am honest? I am frightened by the idea of dating an addict, even a recovering one. But I am equally frightened, as an addict, that everybody out there feels how you do and fears what I do and consequently no one will be brave enough to ever love me. So, I try be brave and remember to love others... After all, what is the alternative... I didn't get clean for a life like that. And had I realised that sooner, I might never have gotten 'dirty' in the first place. There is no magic number where people become stable. Yes, some people are covering up severe mental health issues. Some just have anxiety issues, which can be addressed in alternative ways- other than anxiolytics. All you can really do is watch to see how serious the person is about recovery--in the long term. The year clean stipulation only works if the recovering addict is working hard during this time. Of course he is still putting recovery as 1! He only had 3 months clean! For we addicts- that sick controlling behavior doesn't go away immediately. We have to re-learn EVERYTHING. I'm not saying you had to put up with it either- kudos for you for being strong enough to end a bad relationship. Recovery takes a long time to start showing in relationships. Realized his coping skills were not good, and constantly struggling. The fact that he was not honest from early on is a red flag, right? Is not honesty a key to recovery? Feeling used by his deception. I understand not sharing early, but after a year? He shared when he broke off the relationship. He could not handle a relationship or any expectations on him. Sad really the life he lives. In the end, the fact was that he could really not be close and share a normal relationship with a trusting woman. He simply could not do it. I was extremely saddened by this and had every reason to hope for his recovery. I was as supportive a partner as there could be. He had other relationships in the past, but in the end he simply could not follow through. I always wish him well. I am very sad, but finally realized that I did nothing wrong. I simply encountered a person who was unable to fully engage, although he was basically not a bad person. I do not know what he is up to now, though I suspect he is on the same path of engaging with old drug buddies hopefully not using so much as before and avoiding close personal long lasting relationships with women. Somehow he cannot get out of his own way. He was addicted to Opiates, mainly Oxy's but when he could not get those he got into Fentanyl which from my understanding is way more addictive and hard on your body. He lied to me and hid things from me for a month before I finally called him out. He admitted it right away and within 10 days was clean and sober and back at his meeting and going through the 12 steps again. He was never abusive or rude to me he just sort of pushed me away to hang out alone and do drugs. He wants to stay together and I love him and care for him dearly but my heart and my rational mind are in conflict because I feel that it happens again and we are move involved I will get hurt more than the last time. I wish there was a definite answer about the right thing to do. Reading your comments has me helped realize that I will not find an answer or a consensus on here about my best choice everyone has their own experience..... He was the sweetest guy I had ever met. The first 2 months he treated me like a queen. He loved his kids, had a good career that he was moving up in, Had his life together and was 4 years sober. THEN it all started to come undone. He quit his job in only worked 12 weeks the whole year then I noticed he never talked about his kids and hadn't seen them in over a year and everything he told me or promised me was all lies. And he continued to lie about EVERYTHING. After 8 straight months of not working or even trying to find a job and the constant lying I ended it. I later found out he had relapsed 6 months before we broke up. He is a master manipulator - I learned that quickly and didn't fall for all of his twisted lies. It broke my heart, I thought I had found my fairytale love and I don't even know who or what the real man is. He is now sober one year as of last month. He rarely shares with me anything about his meetings, support groups, sponsor or volunteer work until recently. I have found it hard to relate to him as I've not ever struggled with addiction. I enjoy a glass of wine in the evenings and I know that if we are hanging out, he views it disrespectful if I drink so I have found myself either hiding it or drinking before he comes over. Yet, then he can smell it on my breath. We are not together all the time, so I understand making the sacrifice as he's battling a life long addiction. I'm just having a hard time balancing everything because I'm a normal, functioning female that works full time and has two children of my own. Then I like a recovering addict that works for minimum wage, has two babies with 2 different women, and is devoted to his recovery - which I support 100%. Can this even work? You certainly are not doing anything wrong and should not feel bad for having a drink prior to hanging out. What do you see long term? If you think you cannot drink on days you hang out short term is that really something you picture yourself doing in the long term? I think this comes down to open honest communication and both sides owning up to how they feel. I would suggest talking to him about why it bothers him that you have a drink or two. Is it tempting for him? Does he feel it is unfair? Is it a control thing? Ask him why he is secretive about his meetings etc. Tell him how you feel when he talks about you drinking. I would certainly say after dating two drug addicts and a alcoholic, they are often weak in character or have a major flaw that appears to keep haunting them. Unless they do all the work needed to rid themselves of it it will take over again. Talking to many recovered addicts they suggest two to three years sobriety before odds become better that they will never relapse. There is NEVER a guarantee. As for questioning how mismatched you are.... I know I do and I have had to look really deep down to see that even though I am a total hard working overachiever some part of me thinks that I am not worth someone that makes me a better person or can support me. This may be totally unrelated to your situation but just putting it out there. If you do not respect his position in life and past decisions it will never work. If you do then you both need to communicate openly and find a compromise. If you are with someone who relapses it is a horrible road of lies and deceit because you love that person and want to believe them. I stuck with her through a relapse and later recovery. Nearly 10 years later I find out this individual cheated and lied to me for years. I'm crushed because I gave support , money, gifts , love only to now tell me I need to find my self. Has thrown me to the curb. I feel like I have thrown away years of my life thinking I was a positive influence. I'm now in counseling sorting out what happened. I would strongly recommend against getting involve with an addict. It requires too much effort and time knowing there is certainty things will unravel at any moment. Finally lying and cheating will be part of this crazy journey with an addict. I have struggled to find answers for his behaviour and hoped that one day he would accept his disease and get sober. He has contacted me recently saying he only wants to see the children and although i still love him as when he was sober he was a lovely man im extremly hurt that he now has no interest in me after the abuse i took from him and the support i tried to give him. I am etremely bitter and am going to attend an Al anon meeting tonight. I accept his decision but now need to focus on my ownself and why i tolerated his behaviour for so long. I was so relieved to read your article as it helped me realise my feelings are normal and im not the only one who resents their dismissal of me. A 13 year relationship with an Alcoholic. You may not remember but someone had written a comment on Psychology Today about their own experience with living with an alcoholic. You commented that you could not understand why your husband after rehab had no interest in you. You where very hurt. I have struggled to find answers for his behaviour and hoped that one day he would accept his disease and get sober. He has contacted me recently saying he only wants to see the children and although i still love him as when he was sober he was a lovely man im extremly hurt that he now has no interest in me after the abuse i took from him and the support i tried to give him. I am etremely bitter and am going to attend an Al anon meeting tonight. I accept his decision but now need to focus on my ownself and why i tolerated his behaviour for so long. I was so relieved to read your article as it helped me realise my feelings are normal and im not the only one who resents their dismissal of me. You can't take anything they do personally. Because it's never about you and always about them. Addicts and Alcoholics are the most self centered frauds you could ever encounter. They lie, cheat, steal, do whatever it takes to manipulate their way through your life until you are wasted and spent. Then they move on to their next victim. You then feel It is hard to understand what happened to you because you know you could never do this to anyone. But remember, they could care less. I've been there and I can relate. I would love to know how things are going for you now. I believe that addicts and alcoholics should only date addicts and alcoholics. Because they deserve each other. They deserve to be treated the way they treat others and trust me that is a cruel thing to say. My x-husband was also an addict with marijuna, never went on a program. After a year being single, I met a wonderful guy, but he is in a recovering program and have been sober for more then a year. He is the most decent person and treats me with more respect then my x-husband ever did. Am I worried that he will relapse? I think when you support and communicate with your partner being in a program it helps alot. They just need to know that they have the neccessary support system. This does however mean, that I have to stop my occassional drink on a Friday night after a long week at work. But I think that is a sacrifice I am willing to make, it shows that I respect where he is coming from and support him on our journey together. It may not always be easy, but I believe that with communication, we can only work thru this together. My x-husband was also an addict with marijuna, never went on a program. After a year being single, I met a wonderful guy, but he is in a recovering program and have been sober for more then a year. He is the most decent person and treats me with more respect then my x-husband ever did. Am I worried that he will relapse? I think when you support and communicate with your partner being in a program it helps alot. They just need to know that they have the neccessary support system. This does however mean, that I have to stop my occassional drink on a Friday night after a long week at work. But I think that is a sacrifice I am willing to make, it shows that I respect where he is coming from and support him on our journey together. It may not always be easy, but I believe that with communication, we can only work thru this together. No positive signs from him... I did the same thing. Was lied to, cheated on, stolen from, unsupported financially, emotionally, you name it. His addiction received his financial support and his low life friends and drug dealers and crack whores got his emotional support. I was just a bank roll, a place to crash and a restaurant for him. I didn't know about his addiction to crack and heroin till after we were married. I begged, cried, threatened, you name it. I threw him out numerous times and each time he would beg to come back and promised to go to rehab. He has been in and out of rehab so many times. Came to the conclusion I didn't need the drama and abuse any more. I realized that I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I certainly can't cure it. It is not about me. It is about him and nothing I do will make any difference. This is what you risk when you date or marry a recovering addict. They may be in recovery when they meet you and maybe after you are dating them and maybe after you are married to them. Don't count on it lasting. Mine was in recovery when I met him. As soon as he settled into a stable relationship with me, with me supporting the both of us because most of his paycheck went to child support, he settled right back in the comfort of smoking his crack and I had to accept that he had relapsed. Steer away from ANY recovering addict, period. Be sure to do a thorough background investigation on anybody you might get serious about. I wish I did. Problem is that i like to drink myself. She is dry 7 years. Our conversations often drift into her carrying on about me drinking as though im talking to an AA sponsor. Yes, i drink too much, too often, but i never do stupid things, have never had police incidents and i have a great job. The fact that i drink eats her inside. Even though im far away, not slurring my words or anything or am only talking to her via text message, she almost seems to view and track me in relation to alcohol sometimes. One time, i phoned her to serenade her to sleep, trying to be sweet. She flipped out and accused me of being hammered, hung up on me, and broke up with me. I was not drunk and i was not holding a drink. My point here is it is very difficult to spend time with someone in recovery, even if they have remained sober for a long time. At times you have no problem being supportive, but at other times you would just wish that they were normal. I never went on 3 day benders fueled with alcohol, vicadin, ketamine and cocaine. Im just a guy who likes to have drinks after work; sometimes i have a few too many - but I make it to work, keep my life in order and do it to unwind. Why should i stop enjoying myself just because my partner cannot control themselves? Part of the problem lies in AA. They treat almost any alcohol consumption as varying levels of a disease; it is a substance they almost hate. They must do so, i guess, because it is a slippery slope for them. Identifying an individual as an alcoholic may be okay in certain circumstances as I do so on a daily basis, because I am one but more often than not it is thrown around as, in my opinion, a degrading will-lacking label. It is incorrect to say- he is autistic or he is diabetic or she is cancerous. You are a Multiple Sclerousous!! First and foremost, we recovering alcoholics in specific are human not disease. It is horrific to hear- oh, well hes an alcoholic.... If I don't, that's also okay. My family, friends, acquaintances, and certainly strangers are not entitled to my recovery-The quality of my recovery is dependent on the relationship I have with myself, my spirituality, and the program I choose to work. Remember- people in recovery are people good, bad, ugly, beautiful, intelligent, stupid, compassionate, egotistical, caring, humble, tall, etc Being in recovery allows for those true characteristics to shine- go ahead and judge me on those... Short I am an alcoholic- I am also that stud in the coffee shop. I would never not date a girl because she doesn't eat Lobster, I mean as absurd as that is! I cant have you dieing- because you are a beautiful, intelligent, sweetheart. There is rarely that cute compassion for those who have an allergy to alcohol, so we hide- not because we need the cute compassion, but because we opt not for the opposite of compassion. It is a stressor sp? The fact of the matter is this: I am happy, joyous, and most importantly free- because I am an alcoholic step it back to me being the only one capable of this identification. I just hope I can give more people the time of day---I encourage those who have read this far to hold your own values, morals, hopes and dreams close.... After 4 years of our relationship he told me that he was an addict and is undergoing the NA program to recover. After a year he relapsed and underwent the program again. He stayed clean for a year after. We decided to get married, my parents and his parents met! We were very happy! Then one day i get to know from his parents that he has relapsed again!! Now that families are involved, i'm even more upset that he relapsed. I am also considering leaving him but then again we love each other loads!! I wonder where you are today regarding your decision? I hope you have found an answer that you are at peace with! Myself, planning to leave for a retreat to gather strength to make what will probably be the most difficult decision in my life. Otherwise either path will be too difficult. I do not want to continue questioning what I am doing, or what I did, for the rest of my life... The problem is your life will always involve. Relapse, recovery then relapse. It is never ending. I have beefed lied to cheated on after a so call recovery and got no apology because she finally told me what was going on. She forgot she lied continually until she had been drinking and spit it out. I'm no longer with this individual that I loved and took care of through recovery only to lie and cheat on me. She wants to talk and have dinner. No way never again. Played me for the last time. In therapy dealing with this sad turn of events. Move on if I were you. I just met a girl a couple days ago who's 18 and in step 1 of recovery in a full-time recovery center and she's doing iop as well. She's not even been sober 1 month. Heroine is what pushed her so low to the point that she realized she had to ask her parents for help and check herself into the treatment program, but she had been doing softer drugs since she was 12. I'm going to start dating her casually - with the hope that she will stay clean and we can be happy dating together as long as we can. Her because she admits she's in a shitty place right now and she needs to focus on her recovery and not on a relationship. And me because I have a family to protect from having people come in and out of their lives and I don't want to get hurt again either I'm divorced. But I really am hoping we have fun dating and the hopeless romantic in me always hopes for more of course... So, does anyone have any tips on what I can do to keep her happy and in recovery and clean as much as I can? I am 56, met a beautiful, intelligent vivacious woman in 2008. We eventually became very close and almost married at one point. I knew she liked her wine and many times had to help her get home. Over the ensuing years she kicked me aside a few times to return to a man who abused physically, mentally and just treated her like dirt. Why one may ask? Simple, money, he is 50 year old Trust Fund frat boy who hasn't had a job in 20 years. She once actually married the guy a couple of years ago but it only lasted a month. Shortly after leaving this guy she came back into my life and things were actually okay for about a year until trust fund man started contact again. I always knew she drank wine every day with dinner as do I sometimes. But after a couple of glasses I know to stop and do. We had a trip planned to the coast for a weekend. We woke the day of the trip and she informed me that I needed to take her to a rehab facility instead, which I did. This act was the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life. I found out she was drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a night, alone. I also found an additional addiction to Klonopin that I had no idea about. I visited her on the days she could have visitors and felt she really didn't want me there. I brought her home a month later and she started her new life. I knew she needed to work on her new life and didn't expect a lot from her, and I didn't get it. In short I realised that I really didn't have a spot in her life anymore. I made the hard adjustments I needed, of feeling used and did my best to live a happy fulfilling life, dating none but seeing many. I'd see her in town occasionally but would never speak. I ask friends to stop giving me information about her. Last week she contacted asking me for coffee. In short after 3 years of sobriety she asked to start seeing me again. We had a real date and had a wonderful time and I did not drink in front of her. She says she doesn't mind if I do but feel that I can't. I don't want to be a reason for her relapse. She says she can't have alcohol in her home and won't be around a drunk, which I have never been. I know this has gotten long but I need help, I don't know where to go from here. My heart still flutters when I see her but I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do with her. Can I say let's go to a place to dance that serves alcohol? I don't know where to go from here, please help! And I soon found myself falling deeper in love with him. He admitted he was a heroin addict and had been in jail many times but this did not deter me. He is handsome and has an amazing personality and is fun to be with most of the time, although he was high most of the time. I soon began helping him financially, as my late husband had provided well for me and my son, who is 3 years younger than my new found friend. The age difference did not deter me, but it was an issue for him but he accepted my financial help, moral support, and began staying over and we took trips together, I footed the bill, paid his rent, paid his bills and since I was inexperienced in the world of drug abuse was labeled an enabler and when I gave him money to pay his rent and other expenses, he spent it all on drugs. Over the course of 3 months I have fallen in love with him and he has said that he does not feel the same attraction to me, but loves me only as a friend. He lives in an apartment building I own, and I love him despite his addiction but he has made it clear that any future for us is unlikely. I feel so foolish and I hate myself for being so weak. He is a good person, a kind heart and caring but I know that someday he will find a younger woman and it will surely kill me, if he has not found someone already but I doubt it, he is still weak from his detox which he did last week, staying over my house for two days sleeping it off while I watched him suffer. I feel so foolish and stupid. So for me, I wish I had never gotten involved with him, I should have known better but he has been my life for the past 3 months and I am still in love with him and it hurts like hell. He says he loves me and can never repay me for what I did for him, I did more for him than anyone in his life, he acknowledges that, but its no comfort to me because I want to be with him and I don't believe that will ever happen. I love him unconditionally and completely. And I mean RUN and don't look back. Drug addicts are manipulators and this guy has worked his spell on you. You need to get away and find someone that is clean and sober, and will not need or want your money!! I know it is rough, because I've been there, and am still there, but I'd rather be by myself than to be with someone who is using me, or who I know WILL break my heart. The thought that he could give me a disease would be enough. You don't want your kid to be an orphan when you get AIDS. He doesn't love you the way you love him, so find someone that will worship the ground you walk on. But first, grieve for your dear husband. But what you need to do now is RUN as far away from him as possible!! Initially angry for not being told, after realizing that he was a different person than his stories, I stuck with him, we made marriage plans and we moved in together with my children from a previous marriage. He became an executive at a large company, was active in his recovery and we had such plans for the future. Happily, another 3 years went by and it was perfect... Until he relapsed about 9 months ago and destroyed our household and all our dreams going forward. Some addictions go beyond what we know and what is shown on TV. Sometimes, there is not an escape for them, except through drugs. He says that every day he fights the desire to get high and one day, 9 months ago, he stopped fighting and succumbed. That is not a life I want for myself and my children never knowing if he gave up the fight again, so we have decided not to be apart of it. I will remain his friend, especially through his recovery, but will not have a romantic relationship with him further. Going forward, I don't believe I will ever be with anyone that has an addiction, present or past... Best of luck to anyone who can forgive... That's rare I realize hence the pride. I met him 2 years ago and from day one he let me know his story. In him I see the scars that intolerance and stigmatization have left on him. People can be cruel. It is 2014 and being different still inspires fear in people no matter what that difference is and alcoholism is different. What I have found thus far is that having been through the fire, having worked tirelessly in the rooms for 30 years has made this man I love compassionate, humble, self aware, and possessing a wisdom that most people who suffer some form of adversity have that others do not. Make no mistake he is far from perfect. I have read many sites that have lists of personality traits that alcoholics share, and he possesses many of them. I get frustrated, hurt, scared and angry sometimes because of those traits, but I also remember that even though he has this demon to carry with him he is more than a disease. He is a person who feels and hopes and dreams and struggles just like anyone else. I felt compelled to say there are alcoholics who do recover and remain sober and productive and who are very capable of loving another human being perhaps better than even those of us who have never struggled with addiction. Because of him I am inspired to go for a Master's in addiction studies. I am inspired to help more people reach a 30 year chip surrounded by family and friends and a girl who love them because I can be done.